"Hunh hunh. She said 'damn.'"

"Are those dams or dykes?"

"Suppose we made multiple prints of a Thomas Kinkaid painting. Wouldn't there be ugliness present in all of them?"

"Not only am I a pimp, I am...SUPERFLY!"

"I possess powers of concentration far beyond those of mortal men!"

"I am just wildly amused by the idea of four-dimensional triangles of space-time foam...Next time a physicist comes up to me and talks trash about Leibniz's monads, I will pimp-slap that fool and kick him to the curb!"

"Maybe the actual world contains no Wyma at all! It is the BEST of all possible worlds, after all."

"I know ABOUT Cthulhu, but I was never a part of the cult."

"The worst of it is behind you...ready and waiting to stab you in the back!"

"It gets really freaky really quick, but we're not gonna' get our freak on."

"Man, my nose is really itching me! I knew I shouldn't have done all that cocaine this morning."

"Well, that rules out the drug party."

"Shane got the Weed of Time...hopefully we'll all be able to share it soon."

"English majors? Why do we need to worry about them? It's not like they'll be able to get jobs, anyway."

"Philosophy is like a vampire. There is no subject so full of life and juice and blood that philosophy can't attatch itself to it and suck it dry."

"My pet is Trixy Magnetic."

"Clearly [with a porn name like Cinderella Shorline], I'd be starring in transvestite movies."

"Plato is my dead, gay, pagan homey."

"Or we could be like the Canadians and get drunk and go shoot a moose."

"We [men] have enough supremacy under our belt that we don't need to have every indefinite personal pronoun."

"It pleases me to see Rebecca suffer."

"This is the first time I've heard you speak in six days!"

"This is analytic philosophy at its most ANAL-ytic."

"You HOPED I'd show taste and restraint."

"My being wrong is usually accompanied by cataclysmic events within the earth, but it does happen."

"It's like you're just standing there, telepathically making heads explode!"

"I'm a freakin' Pinko!"

"As you become The Man, The Man becomes more appealing."

"The only honest politician is one who, when bought, stays bought."

"I'm all about the funk!"

"Graduation should be changed from 'Pomp and Circumstance' to 'Pimp and Circumstance.'"

"I think Skinner is monstrous and should have been horse-whipped through town until he recanted his horrid idea. Ironically, once could justify it in a Skinnerian fashion. I love that."

"Rufio, Rufio! Oh, my Ru-fi-oooo!"

"It's okay to make castles in the air. We just can't live in them."

"This quantum physics stuff is crap! You can take it home and feed it to your dog!"

"I am an agent!" (Strikes Charly's Angels-esque pose)

"Next time, we'll pretend it's Monday and come to class depressed."

"I will grant that cats are aware. Evil, but aware."

"He's freakin' God. You just gotta' do what he says."

"Hey, I guess it's time to fry up Ian. Doo doo doo doo doo."
~On cooking his son

"It's in our human nature to die. It's the one thing we're really good at."

"No, I'm not bitter about being left alone in nature."

"Jesus will become ruler of the world and everyone is gonna' be let into the kingdom...OH CRAP!"

"Violence is fun! It gets people's attention!"

"I'm fascinated by Texas Hold'em, in large part because it's so stupid."

"Yeah, Grandma! Next thing I knew she was all up on me, YEAH!"

First of the year! Woo hoo!

"Metaphysics is hardcore, not just cinemax late at night!"

"We're front-loaded for fun."

"Probably a dangerous thing to hand a philosopher a microphone. How much time do you have?"

"It's not really important! It's not philosophy!"

"You know, if we had a substantial amount of Jamaican Gold, we could be there [Mars] by the afternoon!"

I note that there has been a distinct paucity of quotes of late. As readers of this site are aware, I am not currently in any classes with Keith, so I don't have any new ones. I have contacted a few people in Keith's current Ethics about updates, but they have yet to post. We shall see how it all turns out.

"The vice says, 'Hey, baby, it's all good!'"

"Ah hah! I now have an idol!"

"Yo-ho, let's be greedy!"

"He's goin' extracurricular with that magazine, there."

"It's like, 'Hey, how you doin'?' and 'Hey, how YOU doin'?' and then it's BANG!"

"Cool! An El Camino! [cue porn soundtrack]"

"Woo hoo! You might have syphilis too!"
[webmaster's note: Hey! And it even rhymes! I see a future rock hit coming from this one...]

"Sounds like circus acrobats in love."

"Pimpy is in the house!"

Sorry 'bout the late post. In other news, I won't have any classes with Wyma next semester, so if you or anybody you know does, and would like to do weekly updates, e-mail me at "hektor_victorious@hotmail.com.

"Yes, I want to be pawed by drunken frat-boys."

"I may even throw up before I go!"

"I, too could kill a great composer."

"In the fastfood restaurant of life, I got a medium when I ordered a large."

"I am Goofy's funky cousin, Pimpy."

"In the end, the only thing I could think of that I had better was that my wife's name wasn't Misty

A light post today.
"By golly, I'm gonna' go out and do some evil!"

"Hey, look up! Here's you guilty conscience!"

"Can there be anything sadder than a lapsed satanist?"

"I too have a thermostat, but I don't think of myself as a god because of it."

"Wouldn't it be cool if I were God?"

"My life would be so much easier if it weren't for you freakin' students!"

From today and yesterday in The Vices:

"Chicks love guys who can kill things."

"I thought you were trying to make a point ther, but then I realized you're just a woman, so I can safely ignore you."

"When the secretary shows up, it usually means your whole family is dead!"

Quoteses, I have, yessss....

"Well, I guess that Joe's a baby-killer."

"I see we have a bunch of science majors here to make sure that their souls don't entirely corrode and rot away."

"Latin club was actually really cool!"

"When middle-aged white guys are up there trying to tell you they're cronk, why, that's just whack!"

"If you can smoke while doing it, it's a fine sport."

"Nothing wrong with our cows. I feel FINE! [making 'mad cow' face]"

"I want to get high."

"You just want to get high...BECAUSE IT'S SO FREAKIN' FUN!!!"

"Gosh, I'm feeling lecherous right now, so I think I'm going to go commit adultery."

MORE UPDATES!!!

"Gosh, should I put the knife in my chest, or not? I don't know what will happen."

"Presumably there isn't a real person named Mario who had to jump off a cliff for my entertainment."

"Singer's not evil--he's just a philosopher. [pause] It's okay to laugh. That was a joke."

[The webmaster wishes to thank Virgie Way for being more attentive and diligent in the gathering of quotes than he was.]

"Wouldn't it be great if you could re-grow your limbs and such? Kids games would be so much different. It'd be like, 'Ha ha, Corey! I got your leg!'"

Howdy folks! Sorry for the long tardiness of this post. It's the eagerly awaited, long-anticipated return of Life of Wyma! And, let me tell you, I've got a bevvy of 'em.

"I'm going through puberty...which will come as quite a surprise to my kids."

"This is the kind of proof that Pythagoras would have sold his own mother for."

"Puppies? Where's my blender?"

"We can live in a cabin in Montana if we want to, by golly, and make our own waffles out of tree bark!"

"God should have known better than to make Wyma!"

"I want my heavenly cookies!"

"And who doesn't want to kill their neighbors and their cat?"

"Marx comma Karl is in the diabolical command camp, where he's currently experiencing the summer conditions."

"Wow! The image of me naked even scared ME!"

"The Dennis Rodman quartet? I'd pay money for that!"

"People may desire Pauly Shore, but its clear that that isn't healthy."

"It's the smug, self-satisfied atheists that really piss me off. When I see them coming, I just want to get out my axe, because somebody needs to be cut down to size."

"I can think about math or Hogan's Heroes. I can think about anything I want!"

"At which point, with the threat of logical talking, Mike Tyson ran away."

"Hegel was a self-satisfied obnoxious punk, but it took a hundred years before anybody was able to realize it."

"I have the potential to know french. It shames me, but it's true."

"One page of Plato, one [hit from the joint]. One page of Plato, one [hit from the joint]. Hey! These are both pretty good!"

"It's better to help a small child across the street than throw him in front of the car...God throws small children in front of cars."

"And who doesn't want to kill their neighbors and their cat?"

"For I the LORD am a fogizzle God."

"You might have those moments at 3 o'clock in the morning where you feel bad about it, but the rest of the time you can be drunk and forget about it."