"You should not encourage me in my solipsism, or I may begin to treat you bad."

"Your mother is actually my father!"

"What if I am not actually funky? What if I am the William Hung of pimps?"

"I have become Universal Man! Bask in my glory!"

"I left out the 'e' for 'estrogen.'"

"I think there should be a 'Lounge of Despair', where people go when they are forced into the role of the opressor."

"Core 350 is turning me into a woman...I'm a middle-aged whit male! I'm healthy! My life should be smooth, baby, smooth! But Core 350 is wrecking my life!...Though I'm not considering surgery to make my womanhood complete."

"My feminine side is taking over! I can't concentrate for more than a few seconds!"

"Hunh hunh. She said 'damn.'"

"Are those dams or dykes?"

"Suppose we made multiple prints of a Thomas Kinkaid painting. Wouldn't there be ugliness present in all of them?"

"Not only am I a pimp, I am...SUPERFLY!"

"I possess powers of concentration far beyond those of mortal men!"

"I am just wildly amused by the idea of four-dimensional triangles of space-time foam...Next time a physicist comes up to me and talks trash about Leibniz's monads, I will pimp-slap that fool and kick him to the curb!"