"It's the smug, self-satisfied atheists that really piss me off. When I see them coming, I just want to get out my axe, because somebody needs to be cut down to size."

"I can think about math or Hogan's Heroes. I can think about anything I want!"

"At which point, with the threat of logical talking, Mike Tyson ran away."

"Hegel was a self-satisfied obnoxious punk, but it took a hundred years before anybody was able to realize it."

"I have the potential to know french. It shames me, but it's true."

"One page of Plato, one [hit from the joint]. One page of Plato, one [hit from the joint]. Hey! These are both pretty good!"

"It's better to help a small child across the street than throw him in front of the car...God throws small children in front of cars."

"And who doesn't want to kill their neighbors and their cat?"

"For I the LORD am a fogizzle God."

"You might have those moments at 3 o'clock in the morning where you feel bad about it, but the rest of the time you can be drunk and forget about it."

"There is a certain glow about the philosophy department."

"One of my basic rules of life is that if the SWAT team comes, you're going to jail."

"One of those guys who's gonna' remove themselves from the gene pool early."

"Was this while he was there or while you were stalking him?"
(on a student's account of a visit to Colin Powell's house)

"Looks like several attempts at a Darwin Award in this class."

"Mmm-mm. Goat entrails! It's what the gods love!"

From the first day of Ethics:
"If by pimp, you mean one who rents out other human beings for profit, then no, I am not a pimp. However, if by pimp you mean the current hip-hop slang, which is used to refer to one of unspeakable funkiness, then yes, I am a pimp."

"This is why I had to leave Indiana. I couldn't make a shot to save my life."

"It may surprise you to know that I have, in fact, been run over by a chariot. At the Indy 500 track, no less."

"And I see that there are a good number of biology majors in here, trying to make something of themselves before losing their souls."

A new semester, and a new batch of Wyma-isms. Enjoy, my friends!

"I couldn't be more pimped out if I had a straight razor and a 1970 Cadillac El Dorado with curb feelers. I am THE pimp!"

"Will, you're evil. We must stop you!"
{editorial comment: Too late for that! Mwa ha ha ha!}

"There may be no failure so spectacularly obvious or humiliating as logical positivism."