"Once again I am a phallocrat."

"Let's just say it involved drugs, guns, hostages, and a swat team."

"If Roger Morlang began every class with 'we thank you, o God, that Aristotle is in Hell,' it wouldn't surprise me."

"Really unpleasant-looking...must be Russian."

"I was growing up in rural Indiana, which is by definition unenlightened."

"Tiny elves could tell you why."

"I'm not gay, you're gay!"

That's it folks, my last Wyma class. I've passed on the torch to Amy Bernard, but you might not see anything for a while because Keith is going on sabbatical for next semester. Stay tuned!

"...you get people like Al Sharpton, who really is nothing more than an attention whore."

"Keep the dangerous ideas away from the students."

"It was like trying heroine for the first time...I could feel particulate matter trying to get through my kidneys." - Wyma on ice cream at Coldstone Creamery.

"Think about two kinds of things for a second - think about apples and barbells..."

"It's all about sex with Freud, which explains why he smoked that big cigar."

"I love my nose! Let's cut it off!!"

"I'm emphasizing me!"