Ethics 2009


"Piety is less like chicken and more like gravity...I bet you never thought of that as an example." (Piety might be a concrete object, and other Euthyphro weirdness.)


"Was anyone else annoyed by Socrates?" (Hands raise left and right.) "Now you know why the Athenians poisoned him."


"Socrates would go in, confuse them all, and go 'all right, my work here is done."'

THEY'RE HERE...(cue creepy Poltergeist theme music). Yes people, after a lengthy haitus the school year has fired back up again...and that means so has The Life of Wyma (cue loud cheering) Over this next semester you will all be regaled with quotes from Ethics and History of Contemporary...with perhaps some quotes from Core 350 and Senior Capstone thrown in for good measure. So let the good times begin, and remember, laughter is the best medicine so come here often.

Ethics 2009

"That's bad...even for me; okay, that' s a "m." (Yep, starting class out right, with a handwriting comment.)


"Not only is Plato a good writer; not only does Plato make philosophy more interesting; not only does Forrest Baird idolatrously worship him...(Wyma on the usability of Plato)


"Zeus is the god of rulership and Kings and getting laid on the side...which is all he really did."


History of Contemporary Philosophy 2009

"I was attacked!" (Blaming the poor projector that he backed into)


"Tom Hobbes...we're kind of on a first name basis."

Hey everyone. So it's now finals week, and this means we're looking at the last of the Wyma quotes (at least until fall rolls around). Best wishes to everyone and their assorted tests, and I hope to see you all here again next semester.


History of Modern Philosophy 2009



"Oooh, I made a new word."


"Apodictic, yeah, I said it, apodictic."


"No...no...I had like five spelling errors in that word [hypothetical]"


(Wyma draws a Kantian circle on the whiteboard, dislikes it, and draws another)
"The circle did not get any better...now it's offending me"
(erases it and tries a third time)
"There, that's a little better."


"Americans are obsessed with cars. We have restaurants designed so you don't even have to leave your car. Drive-in-movie theaters...oooh, I'd like to go to a movie, but I don't want to leave my car. Lots of people were conceived in cars...there were lots of car "dates." (A small Wyma rant on car fixation.)



"There are limits to the usefulness of being quotable...or unbearably hip" (Wyma, on one of his classes saying "Wyma is a pimp," on all of his evals.)

(Editor's final note, Wyma's quote about being quotable seemed like the perfect way to end.)

Nietzsche Special

“Hard to get a signal from Nietzsche because of all that heat.”

Contradicting Wills: “Oh I am sore. (sleeping). Oh ethics. Wait I am hungry. No, I have to poop. Right ethics.”

“The will to power is about subordinating other desires to achieve an overall will. I live with two people that poop whenever they want, most often at the dinner table. They are 2 ½ so it is to be expected, but it puts you off your own meal.”

“It’s evil! Don’t touch it.”

History of Modern Philosophy 2009



(Me)"Wouldn't Reid's claim [ideas aren't the mind's objects, just what's really out there] be a problem though...like when you're nearsighted and everything's all fuzzy and blurry and soft?"

(Wyma) "You're seeing bunnies (takes off glasses) I'm teaching bunnies"


"I'm trying really hard not to think about Britney Spears." (Editor's question, aren't we all?)


"Some truly trippy Kantian stuff."

History of Modern Philosophy 2009


"Wow...I didn't know Cheerio's could make your heart explode. I'll go put that on the Internet right now." (Wyma demonstrating how, according to Hume, the more "wondrous" something is the more likely we are to believe it.)


"It's different, and very, very bad." (Distinction between actual pain and just lack of pleasure."

History of Modern Philosophy 2009


"Oh it's the best of all possible worlds...moron." (Hume's take on Leibniz.)


"First of all...first of all it is loud." (A sudden, and indeed quite loud, noise outside the classroom caused Wyma to semi-deviate from his original point.)


"Who were the morons out in California...I mean it's hard to single out morons in California."

History of Modern Philosophy 2009


"So what do you get, math and logic...whoo!" (What Cartesian doubt leaves you.)


"Everyone gets up, walks to the door, cries a little bit, and then leaves." (After learning all about skepticism everyone still believes the door, not the wall, is the best option for egress.)

History of Modern Philosophy 2009


"Oooh, what is this thing (sniffs marker) smells groovy." (Wyma demonstrating Humean experience for the class.)


"You can't think the Pacers are going to the play-offs when they are not (makes a very unhappy face.)

Ethics: A Day of Subjectivism

“Charity is good!!”
--Wyma then performs a ballerina leg lift

“Ethics is not a theory about practice. Ethics is a theory in practice.”

“If I was the god of my own universe, then I wouldn’t have bursitis.”

“There is no God. Huh. This might not be a happy thing.”
--Wyma speaking for Atheistic Existentialism

“Swear the Presbyterian Church is the best and then I will take you out of the thumb screws.”
--Describing a coercive manifestation of subjectivism

History of Modern Philosophy 2009


"We're going to talk about two things...okay, maybe three."


"Oh man, that apostrophe should just not be there."

History of Modern Philosophy 2009
(Editor's comment: Everyone has that certain person whom he/she just cannot stand. Nancy Pelosi, Hillary Clinton, Rush Limbaugh, insert your worse enemy here, whoever, you just don't like them. For Wyma, that individual would appear to be Jean Jacques Rousseau; hence the nature of these following quotes.)


"You could do a reading response on Rousseau, or you could do one on someone with a brain."


"Honestly, I hate this guy, and it's not even because he's French."


"Gah, I just...oh he is so wrong. (Wyma, near the end of class, had apparently just become sick of Rousseau.)

History of Modern Philosophy 2009


"How frustrating, to be thwarted by what doesn't exist" (Wyma explaining how, according to Berkeley, material objects don't really exist.)


"And I'm like Berkeley, dude, prefiguring Einstein by a century and a half...not bad. (Regarding how Berkeley came up with the idea of 'no absolute space' first.)

History of Modern Philosophy 2009


"Suppose someone says to you, 'I love you,' yeah, I know, it's never going to happen."'


"I've got arrows going everywhere." (Editor's note, indeed yes, the whiteboard was pretty covered with them.)

"For something to be true it doesn't have to be 'God accurate.'" (Editor's note, yet another phrase that I've now heard outside of class.)

March 18th, Ethics

"I'll tell you what really goes well with popcorn, crack! Sprinkle it right over the top."

"I generally don't care about laws" ...(if they don't have a good reason)

"If you're going to just randomly thwart me then I won't pay attention"

History of Modern Philosophy 2009


"Hobbes is like, 'ooh, religion like a bonsai tree...yeah, I can deal with that." (Hobbes view of the postmodern idea of religion.)


(Wyma, muttering under his breath.) "And I put down the card, why did I put down the card?" ("Card," here refers to his "cards of power," first posted November 20th 2002.)


"Enough with Spinoza, it's now time to turn to someone a little less high on dope...John Locke."

My deepest apologizes to all of you who have been waiting for new posts. The file where all the quotes reside went missing for a while, and then I came down with the "Whitworth bug" (all readers who are currently going to Whitworth will know of what I speak.) All this to say, there are a lot of both old and new quotes, so I'll be double posting for a bit. Again, I'm sorry, and, fingers crossed, there should be no more delays.



History of Modern Philosophy 2009


"Metaphysicional...that was not even right...metaphysical."


(Wyma writes on the whiteboard, talks, pauses and stares at what could best be described as a squiggle.) "That's an 'and,' it just didn't come out right at all."


"Everything was going all right, but it's a French name. (After misspelling Malebranche.)

History of Modern Philosophy 2009

"So here's Libby, she wants to be a nurse. She's dead...hard to get an internship." (Wyma, on how difficult it is to fulfill our desires in Hobbes state of nature.)


"Moore is saying 'the government should fear its people, ha ha,' and Hobbes is like, 'you moron; you couldn't possibly be more wrong."' (Moore-of V for Vendetta fame-versus Hobbes on the power of the sovereign.)

History of Modern Philosophy 2009


"It's not like sloths fighting mountain lions." (Wyma, explaining the concept of how humans are basically equal in abilities, at least according to Hobbes.)


"Oops, I forgot my 'h'" (Wyma had written the words "Englis" and "Civil," and then went back to squish an 'h' in between.)

History of Modern Philosophy 2009


"Yeah, absolutely, I dare say bingo" (In response to Amy Whisenand just uber-nailing an answer)


Editor's Note: Yes, this next quote is a longish one; however it just so beautifully captures what a Wyma class is like that I had to include it.

Wyma: (who has been batting the projector screen cord back and forth for about seven seconds) "I'm starting to be like a cat...except that I'd be wanting to hurt someone with this."

(Small uproar from class...all right, just from this editor)

Wyma: "I know there are cat people in this room and it gives me great pleasure to torture them."

Amy: "But you're against torture."

Wyma: "That's a good point...I may have to rethink my position."

More Ethics

“This could be my boat!!”
--Referring to the possibly illegal retirement money

“Bill Clinton can tell us that he feels our pain, but we know it is not true. ‘Come here! I will show you my pain.’”

“Even saintly folk start to act like sinners when they miss their dinners.”

History of Modern Philosophy 2009


"Ones are sort of like pornography...you know them when you see them." (Wyma on his reading response grading scale.)



"We're now going to jump into the law of wisdom which is Rene Descartes."


"The most powerful being is trying to deceive you...you're toast."

The Beauty of Ethics

“There is a long tradition of philosophers being really annoying people. Socrates starts us out well.”

“Cold Stone it is like mainlining heroine. I know I am going to be needing more of this.”

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!

Core 350 2009 (thanks go out to Kelsey Toy for this quote)


"This sort of anger should be reserved for if Bill Robinson ran over your dog; and then backed up to finish it off. All the while looking you in the eye with a smirk on his face, as you stand there, holding the still trembling leash." (Wyma, on the wrath directed to Core 350.)


History of Modern Philosophy 2009


"Throes of chaos...now that's a bad time to be alive, but a great time to be a philosopher. (Wyma, on the atmosphere leading up to the Modern project.)


"What's the purpose of being a cat...besides being evil." (Editor's note, "Hey!")

First off, I'm really sorry for how late these new quotes are...life got exciting...I promise to try and keep the excitement to a bare minimum from now on.

Jan-Term: The Vices-Virtue and Evil 2009 (Living proof that sex sells, all the really good quotes had to do with lust.)


“Then they all say ‘holy mackerel, I’ve just slept with my best friend’s spouse’…except they don’t say ‘holy mackerel,’ it’s a little passé.” (On how characters in a book respond when they all meet up with each other...after all sleeping with one another.)


“Hello, Deacon Jones…I was just investigating this place for a…potential boycott. (Wyma, posing as a church member who’s been caught buying porn.)


“Adult entertainment; yeah, very mature.”

Brought to you by Ethics 2009:

"I think that is the the kinda of question a good Christian wouldn't ask"
--long nasally breath (class introduction tradition)
And its response: "Witch, witch!! Burn him!!!...Which is a dangerous accusation at Calvin."

"Do I have a fork?"
--response to cannibal question of would you eat (name a companion)?

"Today Ethics is Holy, everything is coming in 3s"

"My hand is just not wanting to make letters today."
--Wyma struggles again with the lecture room markers

Jan-Term: Vices-Virtue and Evil 2009


“If I could plan my life, I wouldn’t be a philosopher.”


“Instead, you get January; fog, cold, yeah baby.” (Wyma on how sad it is most students don’t get to see Spokane in the more pleasant summer months.)


“Ayn Rand’s theory is just Nietzsche with a big yellow smiley face stuck on it.” (Discussing The Fountain Head's depiction of pride.)

Jan-Term: The Vices-Virtue and Evil 2009 (Random quotes, not related to specific vices.)


“Football is a goldmine for feminist theory”


“Misery in small doses is fun. (Wyma on why the vices appeal to us.)


“The FOX network is the reason Satan’s glad he got a TiVo.”

Social and Political Philosophy 2008


“My ‘b’ looks pregnant there.” (Editors note: It really did.)


“He’s fat, he’s Christian, he’s Italian.” (Yet another quote regarding Aquinas.)

Social and Political Philosophy 2008 (we will get to J-Term quotes; I promise.)


“You are irritating me.” (Said with severely gritted teeth to a dying marker.)


“He’s concise, baby.” (Re: Aquinas.)


“That’s good enough. Now the doorjamb’s there to trip someone.” (Said after Wyma kicked the doorjamb out of the classroom and into the hall.)

Happy J-Term break everybody! To celebrate said break, a multiplicity of quotes.


Social and Political Philosophy 2008


“That’s just a really messed up ‘3’” (Wyma had been using numbers to denote points, and then accidentally wrote ‘B’ instead of ‘3’)


“We’re eating mutton.” (The end result of the Tragedy of the Commons when we take more grass than is necessary for our sheep.)


“Maybe we won’t have a chance to evolve. A comet comes, hits the planet, and geckos will inherit the earth.”


“The family [in Rawls' OP] appears to slide by without scrutinty... scrutinty?” (‘scrutiny’ and ‘being scrutinized’ became one word. Editors note: I’ve now heard this word used outside of class.)

"Come and experience the wilderness of Utah!"
-After discussing polygamy during Ethics Bowl practice

Social and Political Philosophy 2008


"Philosophers should get paid more, and of course Plato would agree with me."


"He made me cry over a volleyball." (Wyma’s reason as to why Tom Hanks in Castaway should have won best actor over Russell Crowe in Gladiator.)

Social and Political Philosophy 2008

"This is going to do something really spiffy." (Regarding Rawls' hybrid theory of social contract theory + classical liberalism.)



(Background: the entire class has just admitted to never watching The Wrath of Khan.)
"Now I won't even bother with my example." (Proceeds to scribble madly on the whiteboard.)

Hey to all of you who've been patiently waiting for more quotes from Wyma! First off, as you might have seen from the name I'm not Heather Stevens (which is sad, being Heather would be awesome) however, like Heather, I will be taking care of your daily need for Wyma's wit/wisdom. So, to begin...

Intro to Philosophy 2006
"There are some humans that are below animals. Paris Hilton, for example."


History of Medieval Philosophy 2008
"I felt like a eunuch in the Playboy mansion." (Wyma, regarding looking at his skies while ill and feeling no desire whatsoever towards them.)