"You light the fuse and say: OH BOY! Fun times are coming!"

"Some people have funk. Some people don't. As it happens, I do."

"I said to myself, ‘dang it!’ I have a PHD in philosophy; I will not be moved by a Brittany Spears song." [On the song Lucky]

“There is music to study to, music to dance to, music to smoke joints to…” [On Plato and Censorship]

"I had a Socrates sweatshirt, too. Its sort of like wearing your team gear as a philosopher."

"She's just hoping that he will run out and pee on his burning car."

"We have to accomplish some philosophical purpose out of this highly entertaining story."