"If screwing is all they did, screw them."

"I am ninja. I am invisible."

"You know, Jesus just screws things up all the time."

"Thank goodness for the Australians for saving us from being the most boorish, shallow people on Earth."

And a special guest appearance by Kevin Klevjer:
"Maybe it's not wrong to dehumanize."

"They'll not take our freedom, just our intestines!"

"There is no bigger whacking-stick than eternal damnation."

"Hmmm...Scripture reading or crack pipe?"

"Somebody whip me!"

"Mommy says go distract the store owner."

"As a philosopher, of course, I avoid the Bible at all costs."

"It's like BAM! We're alone now with God."

"Grammar is apparently lost on villains."

"You only THINK I'm not a heroin addict."

"This is Christmas.
The dog died.
But at least this year,
We got to eat."

"So I was riding along on my bike...and then I wiped out and I was lik, "Oh no! God's judging me!"

"There's a great Marilyn Manson song..."

"A is for the alcohol so tasty.
D is for the drugs that make my skin so pasty.
D is for the dollars I am spending.
I is for the indictments that are pending.
C is for cravings that are always hovering.
T is for the tracks my sleeves are covering.
I is for the insane way I'm feeling.
O is for the overdose that has me reeling.
N is for the next hit, always the best one.
S is for the slab I soon will rest on."

"It's a piece of freakin' wood."

"What would Jesus do? Well I think he'd pull his pants up!"

"Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're a jerk."

"God wanted me to use the pencil, not the pen."

"Luckily for the Nazis, God hated the Jews."

"People say Paris is the city of love, but really it's Prague. People were making out everywhere! Old people, young people, everybody was making out!"

"A good dog is loyal and friendly, and doesn't crap on the rug too much."

"It's bad to abandon children and leave them on hillsides to be raised by wolves."

"I had a bad experience with Mickey once."

Well, it's a new year, a new term, and we open it up with a new batch of Wyma, fresh from today's session of Ten Commandments. Most of the quotes throughout January will be taken from that class. Welcome back, everybody!

"You can do business or go to Heaven, but not both."

"The number of times I should have been dead or horribly mutilated is almost beyond count."

"If I take the drugs, I'm fine."

"Christian rock. I'm still not convinced it's not a contradiction of terms."

"I think that there is a certain amount of rebellion inherrent in rock, but culture is so far gone to Hell already that you can rebel against it by being good."