It's been a while, but I'm back, and boy do I have a wealth of quotes now. Woo hoo!

"Music to kidnap young women by."
~Wyma's thoughts on the molester-stache sported by a student.

"I'll be back after I'm doped up."

"Phantom limb is such a bitch."

"It does please me to imagine you in agony."
~Wyma on grading papers

"Ha ha! I lifted the table! Worship me!"

"California is going to Hell."
*webmaster's note: Here here!

"You don't have to be a post-modernist to be a scumbag, but it helps."

"So this is where the apostle Paul was smoking dope."

"I love it when material science beats on atheists."

"We have inter-species relations with 5'2" blonde white women."

"It started out Little House in the Big Woods and then they cleared them out so it became Little House on the Praerie. Laura Ingalls Wilder has a bumper sticker that says 'Clear Cut!'"

"Idiocy contains its own safety net."

"I'M the shizzle."
~Keith, Live from Missoula, Montana at the 1st annual Inland Northwest Regional Ethics Bowl

"It is one of my life's goals to be assassinated."

"I see myselfas a Socratic midwife...Rebecca here just needs a Caesarian."

"The woman gets bored...There were a lot of drills around the house."
~Keith, on the way in which the wife of a gay man gets pregnant.

"He was a Lutheran. There was no sex."

"Know the GUI. Trust the GUI. Love the GUI."
~Kant's motto, V. 2.0.0.3