“Find an example of adultery in the media is like finding a depressed teen in Jr high. You don’t have to look far.”

“You are really attractive to me right now, but it is a bit damaged by the fact that you have been eating lots of Oreo cookies lately.”

“Why would He (Christ) do this? Rephrase the 6th Commandment (Do not murder). I had a chance at obeying that one.”

“Wow! Tyler you would look highly entertaining staked-out, naked in a desert covered in honey near a mound of fire ants.”
--Dwelling on Hateful Thoughts

“Resentment is poison you drink in hopes that someone else will die.”

I have a grading tool, but I can’t show you because it is illegal to have on campus. Namely, a sledge-hammer with scalpels.”

“Every now and then I am driving home, I turn on the radio and Love-Line is on, which is probably a sign of the apocalypse.”

“Catechismic…I don’t even think that is a word. But I’m cool and I can make-up words. Catechismic. Look, I used it again.”

“I would vomit, but I’m too exhausted.”
--Wyma posing as Devin after running a marathon

“That guy has five articles in the Journal of Philosophy.”
“So? Can he pay for this coffee?”

“I introduce to you Scott Starbuck. The man who has forgotten more about the Old Testament, then most of us will ever know.”

Wyma celebrates because he was awesomely recognized in a philosophy journal.

Story: Sometimes Wyma takes his inhaler while driving down the road. And for to get a good mental picture it is important to understand that the old style inhalers have this glass tube extension thing on them. Thus, in the end the inhaler looks more like a bong, then legal medication. Especially when other fellow drivers only get a glance as Wyma inhales. The ETHICS license plate seals the deal as they watch Wyma drive off into the sunset. “Philosopher,” they mutter.

“Yeah! We get to talk about Satanism.”

“From the sins of others, the sage corrects his own.”
--Stoics

“Wisdom is learning how life works by watching by those around us. Life lived in other ways will only make our life go down the crapper.”
--The Heart of Virtue Ethics

“When we are in bed together I do not want to roll over and find anther man between you and me”
--1st Commandment “Thou shalt have no other gods before me”

“There are fewer things sadder than a lapsed Satanist.”

“Where are you going Anton?”
“Disneyland!!”
--Anton Szandor LaVey was the founder and High Priest of the Church of Satan; author of “The Satanic Bible”

“You shouldn’t be sneaking those boys into the women’s monastery.”

“The only thing good about mimes is that you can hit them and they won’t scream.”

Nelson: “God bless the South.”
Wyma: “Because no one else will.”

Drama: Picture Wyma being God. Stamping the dirt things (humans) away from His presence.

Moses asks, “Who do I say sent me? Are you the almighty, kick-ass war God. The storm God: the shaker God.”
“No, I am freaking God baby. I will be who I want to be. I am gonna do, what I am gonna do.”
--Mark of authenticity: if there is ever a God, then it would look like this.

God talking to Israel: “I married you. And you slept with everybody.”

“There shall be no grape juice in the living room. Even if thou shalt carry it in a sippy-cup.”
--Metaphor for God’s relationship with the Israelites

“When God gave the Ten Commandments in Exodus it was like the Israelites and He were getting married. When God gives them again in Deuteronomy it was like last-ditch marriage counseling.”

The insecurities of Yahweh: “Don’t make any other Gods!! Don’t worship other idols!!”
--See Exodus for Biblical support

“Do not kill. Unless they pray to a different invisible man than you.”
--From George Carlin on the 10 Commandments

“I just came down from an active volcano and was speaking with God.”
“Everything is ok. Just stay calm. We will get you a tranquilizer.”
Moses descending from Mount Sinai