Update!
Hey gang, the wonderful Heather Stevens has agreed to act as an admin for the next semester at least! She had been set up as a basic author for the past few months, but since she is basically the only source I have in the philosophy department these days, I've decided to bump her up to administrator level. I have the utmost confidence she will use her power wisely. So let's all enjoy the remainder of our Christmas breaks, and then get ready for a brand new batch of Wyma come Jan Term!

Hey gang, it's been a while since I posted on the site, mainly due to lack of time, and lack of new Wyma quotes. As some of you might have noticed, the old site layout was no longer working for archiving purposes, so I had to go in and set it up with a new theme. Archived posts should now be available for all of your viewing pleasure. Also new is the ability to subscribe to the blog, so the minute a new post shows up, you'll get notification of this.

Of course, this brings us to the next topic of note: we are disturbingly light on posts for new material. In short, I need someone who would be willing and able to add new quotes to the site. Applications for this position may be sent to me at hektor_victorious@hotmail.com. This is completely unpaid, and duties will include: uploading new quotes to the site, approving comments, and notifying me if anything gets disastrously broken. If you are interested, send me an email with your name, email address, status within the Whitworth University philosophy department, and what classes you are taking with Wyma, and a choice quote that you think would be a good fit for the site. Good luck!

“Find an example of adultery in the media is like finding a depressed teen in Jr high. You don’t have to look far.”

“You are really attractive to me right now, but it is a bit damaged by the fact that you have been eating lots of Oreo cookies lately.”

“Why would He (Christ) do this? Rephrase the 6th Commandment (Do not murder). I had a chance at obeying that one.”

“Wow! Tyler you would look highly entertaining staked-out, naked in a desert covered in honey near a mound of fire ants.”
--Dwelling on Hateful Thoughts

“Resentment is poison you drink in hopes that someone else will die.”

I have a grading tool, but I can’t show you because it is illegal to have on campus. Namely, a sledge-hammer with scalpels.”

“Every now and then I am driving home, I turn on the radio and Love-Line is on, which is probably a sign of the apocalypse.”

“Catechismic…I don’t even think that is a word. But I’m cool and I can make-up words. Catechismic. Look, I used it again.”

“I would vomit, but I’m too exhausted.”
--Wyma posing as Devin after running a marathon

“That guy has five articles in the Journal of Philosophy.”
“So? Can he pay for this coffee?”

“I introduce to you Scott Starbuck. The man who has forgotten more about the Old Testament, then most of us will ever know.”

Wyma celebrates because he was awesomely recognized in a philosophy journal.

Story: Sometimes Wyma takes his inhaler while driving down the road. And for to get a good mental picture it is important to understand that the old style inhalers have this glass tube extension thing on them. Thus, in the end the inhaler looks more like a bong, then legal medication. Especially when other fellow drivers only get a glance as Wyma inhales. The ETHICS license plate seals the deal as they watch Wyma drive off into the sunset. “Philosopher,” they mutter.

“Yeah! We get to talk about Satanism.”

“From the sins of others, the sage corrects his own.”
--Stoics

“Wisdom is learning how life works by watching by those around us. Life lived in other ways will only make our life go down the crapper.”
--The Heart of Virtue Ethics

“When we are in bed together I do not want to roll over and find anther man between you and me”
--1st Commandment “Thou shalt have no other gods before me”

“There are fewer things sadder than a lapsed Satanist.”

“Where are you going Anton?”
“Disneyland!!”
--Anton Szandor LaVey was the founder and High Priest of the Church of Satan; author of “The Satanic Bible”

“You shouldn’t be sneaking those boys into the women’s monastery.”

“The only thing good about mimes is that you can hit them and they won’t scream.”

Nelson: “God bless the South.”
Wyma: “Because no one else will.”

Drama: Picture Wyma being God. Stamping the dirt things (humans) away from His presence.

Moses asks, “Who do I say sent me? Are you the almighty, kick-ass war God. The storm God: the shaker God.”
“No, I am freaking God baby. I will be who I want to be. I am gonna do, what I am gonna do.”
--Mark of authenticity: if there is ever a God, then it would look like this.

God talking to Israel: “I married you. And you slept with everybody.”

“There shall be no grape juice in the living room. Even if thou shalt carry it in a sippy-cup.”
--Metaphor for God’s relationship with the Israelites

“When God gave the Ten Commandments in Exodus it was like the Israelites and He were getting married. When God gives them again in Deuteronomy it was like last-ditch marriage counseling.”

The insecurities of Yahweh: “Don’t make any other Gods!! Don’t worship other idols!!”
--See Exodus for Biblical support

“Do not kill. Unless they pray to a different invisible man than you.”
--From George Carlin on the 10 Commandments

“I just came down from an active volcano and was speaking with God.”
“Everything is ok. Just stay calm. We will get you a tranquilizer.”
Moses descending from Mount Sinai

"Yeah!! We each get to be our own little divine commander."
Sartre's Existentialism

Man says to the guy behind the soda counter--"I would like some freedom please."
Guy behind the soda counter takes a fire hose and turns it on in the guy's mouth.
"Not that much freedom!!" Contemporary Philosophy, Sartre's Existentialism

What is knowledge?
"So say Ean walks into the Quantum Physics lab at Harvard and says, 'Quantum events are indeterministic.'
Then the professors say, 'How do you know that?'
'Divine revelation from God,' says Ean.
'Get out of here kid. Who are you anyway?'
'Ean.'
'Oh, your a Wyma kid.' {suddenly struck with enlightenment, the profs hurriedly begin writing down his every word}"

"I know I appear omnipotent and wizardly, but I am not Gandalf."

CORE 350 Humor:

“You could put CORE 350 on your resume.”

“Is it because I am an Orthodox and he is a heretic from Kentucky? Or, I am a genius philosopher and he just a social psychologist?”

“Remember I have a laser pointer. I can find you.”

“This is why I have not talked about Moral Relativism, and hence, brutally and politely attacked it.”

"Ethics"

“Hell is a really big cookie” Euthyphro

“God doesn’t like drunkenness because He doesn’t like grapes; however, He likes poppies so getting high is ok.” Divine Command Theory

“Wisdom is made known in the midst of fools. Unfortunately I have added to the mounting objective evidence provided for the wise.” Subjectivism

“Mike Tyson fled in the face of logic.” Subjectivism

“People who claim to be moral nihilists aren’t, unless they are writing it in their suicide note.” Subjectivism

“You will probably die on a toilet. And later be found naked and smelly.” Subjectivism

And the CORE 350 love should probably continue--concerning "Environment and Ethics"

“I have the subjective preference of lots of philosophy classes, but luckily I prefer an objective truth.”

“Fish are not that simple. But lets face it, fish are not that smart.”

The Love of CORE 350:

“Who eats Spartans for breakfast.”

“French...that is truly useless.”

“The world’s resources are distributed inequitably—but, so what? Why should other people’s welfare matter to me?”

Wyma flips-off CORE 350

Reference to nice clothes: “I need to just touch it and pictures happen.”

What is Subjectivism? “False, false, false and false!!!!”

“Isn’t it your own fault if you live in Maine”

Legal aliens? “Gordon is like ‘oooh that’s me I’m free riding.’”

Logicians to Logical Postivists: "Yeah I got your back, with an ELEPHANT GUN!!"
Sound effects and acting: "Boom!! (long and loud) Kussshhh!! (I think this was the splattering Logical Postivist)"
{Georg Cantor's Diagonal Method}

"The floor is yours Daniel. Own it baby!" [Yes, Wyma called Daniel Griffen baby.]
{Jean-Paul Sartre Basis of Life-Meaning}

Ethnographer to 'man in a culture he doesn't understand and language he doesn't speak' (we will call this man MC): "What is that? (Ethnographer points to furry rabbit)"
MC: "Gava-guy!"
E: "Gava-guy?"
MC: "HM. Gava-guy/incarnated-witch-spirit."
{Wittgenstein On Language}