"Eventually, I'll just want to dive in the paper and swim in the coins like Scrooge McDuck."

"Let's start with crack cocaine. Some people desire it, so it's desirable. Let's get some! No."

"It's really nice to rock your baby to sleep...It really makes me feel what it would be like to be God...It's the beauty of being omnipotent, omniscient, and omnipresent."

"It's going to be a lot harder to enjoy your chocolate ripple ice cream when the bones of your leg are grating against one another."

"Weasels dealing in spades!"

"...Cats are evil. His [Nate's] day isn't complete 'til he's purreed a Persian."